These, my friends, are the Smithfield Hooligans, and this is their story…
The hooligans’ age range is from about 8-13 years of age, just old enough to be let out of the house without parental supervision, and just young enough to look harmless. The majority of them also have freckles, which helps them look even more innocent.
They run around Smithfield wearing “trackie bottoms” (sweat pants), Adidas shoes, hoodies, and occasionally their favorite rugby jersey. They also like to gel their hair in spikes atop their hoodlum heads. It’s a mystery as to how it stays spiked during all their hooligan antics, but they manage to keep their hair perfectly stiff the entire day.
Their favorite activities include: hanging outside of SPAR and Centra (Irish convenience stores) for no apparent reason, drinking Lucozade (Orange Powerade mixed with caffeine), consuming Tayto Chips and Crunchie Bars (Google it), running into Americans with their scooters, and chasing people down the street.
My friend, Julie, was actually attacked by some Hooligans in Phoenix park. They hit her with sticks and threw rocks at her, all the while calling her names and yelling she was a “stupid American.” These are the most extreme hooligans of all, since most of them seem to be rather harmless. From a distance, anyway, haha.
The Hooligans also like to play a game I call “Throw an empty soda bottle in the road and watch cars run over it for enjoyment.” It'd take hours to explain, so I won't do that here.
Many of the Hooligans have to find games like this to play, since they do not have access to a local playground. These city-slicking kids live in a strictly residential area (Smithfield) and Phoenix Park is the closest semblance to a kid’s playground. However, the park is a solid 15-20 minute walk away and contains nothing more than bronze statues and jogging trails.
Once, I saw a gang of hooligans running around Smithfield with a horse they (or their parents) must have purchased at the Smithfield horse market. They were literally romping up and down the streets, with no real purpose other than to show off their new horse to the entire community. Now that, my friends, is an epic Smithfield moment.
(For more info, go here: http://hubpages.com/hub/Smithfield-Horse-Market-Dublin)
And let's not forget the ladies...
There is also the less-recognized female Hooligan, who likes to wear pajamas or an entire matching trackie suit. She also likes to straighten her hair, dye it one solid color (see “Dublin Women” blog) and walk around causing trouble with the hooligan boys. She’s typically the more innocent of the group, but no hooligan pack is complete without one of these hooligan girls. Typically, though, they grow up quicker than the boys and move onto shopping and, eventually, clubbing (again, see “Dublin Women” blog).
So, there you go. An in-depth look at the lifestyles and habits of the infamous Smithfield Hooligans. Luckily, I was never personally attacked by any of them, but I exercised great caution and was sure to never make eye contact. They are pretty harmless, really, unless you’re hanging outside SPAR after 9:00 pm. Then I wish you the best of luck.
To paint a clearer picture, I’ve added a few pictures of the Hooligans in their natural habitat:
reading this was the best part of my day. no doubt.
ReplyDelete